Broken Anime
by JupiterMaster8586
Summary: Disclaimer: We don't own anything here, don't sue us. An anime spoof off of the movie Broken Arrow, starring John Travolta and Christian Slater. Rated for suggestions on what happens in Seiji's tent, and 15-year-old bearing uzi. Please Read and Review!!
1. BOMBS AWAY!

Orders are given:  
  
"You have to be joking me, sir!" Lt. Catherine Bloom gaped at Major Treize Kushrinada's announcement. "You're trusting this mission to a...a...a mercenary?"  
  
"I'm perfectly serious, Lt. Bloom...do you question my orders?" Treize answered, placing his hands on his desk.  
  
"No, sir..." Catherine mumbled.  
  
"Sir! Mercenary Amara Ten'ou in the vicinity! She's demanding.. WAH!" the soldier didn't finish as he was pushed rather RUTHLESSLY away by a young lady with short dirty blond hair and blue eyes burst in.  
  
"Major...Sorry...to burst in like this...but I just had to know if the mission is in the Mercenaries hand or not...we get rather impatient...On knowing this stuff...you could say we like to get right on the job..." Mercenary Ten'ou said.  
  
"Oh, you will get your mission...you are to bomb a base on the border of the Mira Mesa," Treize said. "And you will get paid HANDSOMLY if you cover all of the requirements. Would you like a rebriefing of your mission?"  
  
"Yes...I would like the 'rebriefing' of the requirements.....so I can do it right and not have any mistakes....I do hate mistakes....but then again they do have their good sides too." answers Mercer nary Amara.  
  
"Really..." Catherine rolled her eyes.  
  
Treize cleared his throat. "You are to bomb the base, but before you do, you are to send a gun squad in to clear the base of any people in it. You are to take them prisoner, and remember, WE WANT THEM ALIVE. For every person you bring in alive, you are paid $1,000. After you have gathered all occupants, you will bomb the base. Do I make my orders CLEAR?"  
  
"What Happens if I don't follow 'your' orders?" asks Amara.  
  
"That depends on the extent to which the orders are not followed. If you accidentally kill some of the occupants of the base, or some are left behind during the bombing, you will only get a small deduction in your reward. However, if you happen to completely disregards my orders and drop the bombs without clearing the base, well...then we will have to throw you in jail for charge of a Court Martial Defense, and you shall be executed. Is THAT clear enough?" Treize asked, leaning over his desk.  
  
"Crystal Clear....in fact I can see right through...." Amara Grins wide, and through her mind run evil thoughts of the fun she is going to have...hey...he didn't say...she couldn't have fun with torturing the prisoners.  
  
"I trust that you will return successful," Treize said, saluting Amara. "Dismissed!" As Amara left, Treize sat down, a playful smile on his lips.  
  
"Sir, what's so amusing?" Catherine asked.  
  
"Amara...I know her strong point...torture..." he said, laughing.  
  
::On the Mission::  
  
"Ok...Do you understand the Mission..that we have been givin by the Major?" asked Amara to her Crew.  
  
"Yes..MA'AM." The whole crew yelled.  
  
"Good...Now Ron you fly in....Jim you wait for our signel to drop the bombs...Spike and Visious you gather the People....and have them loaded in to the trucks...that Rei and I will drive out of the vicinity...by 0600 hours...Understood."  
  
"Yes Ma'am." they respond.  
  
"Good....Now lets move out."  
  
::At the Mira Mesa border::  
  
"Major Black!" came the yell. Major Jet Black turned around to see his second in command running towards him.  
  
"What's wrong, Lt. Tivrusky?" Jet asked Lt. Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the fourth. Lord knows where she got the name.  
  
"Enemy jet! ENEMY JET!!!" Ed yelled, jumping up and down, pointing frantically to the radar with one hand and the air with the other.  
  
The next moment, mercenaries Spike Spiegel and Vicious Torn rammed through the doors, shooting into the air. "Give up!" Spike announced. "This is the last room we HAVEN'T cleared! Our orders are to NOT kill anyone!"  
  
Ed blinked. "There are only two...we only two...even match, yes?" she said.  
  
"Yes, we DO seem evenly matched..." Jet said. "But I won't take the chance of them hurting you...we have to give up." Ed looked up at him, but didn't argue. They were lead out of the building peacefully.  
  
"Hey! Amara! These are the last two!" Vicious yelled.  
"Great...now for the real fun..." Amara takes her gun out and cocks it. Everybody just looks at her with worried looks that say we didn't do anything so don't hurt us and they slowly back away from her gun.  
  
"Don't worry...my orders are not to kill you...so don't looks so worried." Grins Amara...then she shoots the gun in the air 2 times making every body jump in surprise. "Now For all you People....you get to see a real show."  
  
The next thing they see is a big bomb flying through the air and landing on top of their base.  
  
Jet sighed. "You win, you blew up the base, so what are you going to do with us?" he asked, instinctively drawing Ed into a protective hug.  
  
Spike laughed. "Protecting the rug rat? How touching..." he grabbed Ed and picked her up by her collar. Ed struggled and Spike yelped, dropping her. "THE BRAT BIT ME!"  
  
"What do expect she is red head." Amara said as she chuckled. Amara then Snaps her figures and Rei walked up to ED and ties her hands to the wooden sidings of the truck and then puts tape over her mouth so she couldn't bite anybody over even move to take the tape off. "Now then Behave, Maggot."  
  
The next thing Rei knew, a sharp pain was shooting through her breasts. She covered them with her arms and glared at Ed, who has a mysterious look in her eyes as she stands back up. "ED!" came Jet's bark. "BAD!" Ed whimpered a bit behind the tape, but sat down instead, knowing she couldn't argue if she wanted to, current situation taken into thought. "I am TRUELY sorry, miss, but I assure you, she did NOT learn that in training camp..."  
  
"We sure know what to do to her when we get to Camp, Now don't we.. Rei." states Amara.  
  
"Yep...sure do" says through her gritting teeth.  
  
"Please," Jet said, stepping forward. "Don't hurt her, she's only 13, she doesn't know any better..."  
  
"You put a 13 YEAR OLD in the title of SECOND IN COMMAND?" Spike asked in disbelief. He sneered at Ed. "You know, if there's three things I hate, it's Rug rats, tomboys, and beasts...you have all three in one NEAT little package..." He took Ed's hair and pulled her head back.  
  
"You do NOT touch her!" Jet growled. He rushed forward without thinking, kicking Spike away from Ed.  
  
"God..." Spike groaned, standing up. "Quite the kick for an old guy..." He rubbed his head and pulled out his Uzi, and trained it on Jet, who made quick work of untying Ed (and untaping, yeowch).  
  
"Ed..." Jet said, backing up a bit. "SICK 'EM..." In a flash, Ed was rushing at Spike, dog style, a trail of Uzi shots following her.  
  
"GEEZ!" was the last thing that Spike said, before falling to the ground, holding a certain spot between his legs. Ed brought her foot down and smiled brightly, and picked up the Uzi in her mouth. (no one's gonna want that anymore).  
  
The next thing Ed knew, she was up in the air in a cage of metal, and then before Jet knew he was in the air also but a few feet away from Ed.  
  
"Now if any body tries to help them Escape they will have to answer to old betsy here." Amara said indicating her shotgun. "GOT IT..."  
  
"No, you get it, meanie lady..." came Ed's voice. "You leave out one component..." Ed had the Uzi skillfully trained on Amara.  
  
"Hey, you wanna rephrase that?" Vicious said, training his own pistol on Ed.  
  
"ED!" Jet barked yet again. "DROP IT!" Ed whimpered and dropped the Uzi. "BAD! LISTEN TO THE LADY! DO AS SHE SAYS!" Ed sat, looking at the ground wistfully.  
  
"Very good..." said Amara. "How long until we get there?"  
Spike regained his composure. "About thirty minutes if we take past the speed limit..." he muttered. He took that moment to glare at Ed yet again.  
  
"Excuse me..." a small blond named Quatre Winner said, stepping forward.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" Amara asked obviously annoyed.  
  
"I was just wondering what you're going to do to us when we get to the camp..." Quatre said.  
  
"Well, you sure aren't drinking tea! Let's just say that you will not enjoy your time at our little camp," Amara responded as calmly as she could.  
  
Quatre blinked, "I didn't ask you if we'd enjoy it or not, I asked what you were going to do to us when we got to the camp."  
"Do you really want to know what we're going to do? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO TO YOU WHEN WE GET TO THE CAMP?!" Amara asked.  
  
Quatre's eye twitched before he started to yell, "YES I REALLY WANT TO KNOW, IF I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW, I WOULDN'T ASK YOU, SO ANSWER MY MOTHER FUCKING QUESTION!"  
  
"Well, we're going to torture you until you squeal like piggies, then we're going to hand you over to Major K..." Amara responded.  
  
Everyone swallowed hard, everyone except Quatre, who instead exclaimed, "Oh, torture?! What kind, fast or slow? What type of torture? Can you give me tips on some good types of torture?"  
  
"You're EXCITED about being tortured?" Amara raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Of course! I love torture! Did you know that in ancient times they used to use these little pins that you don't feel when it goes into your skin, but when they pull them back out it hurts like hell!" Quatre pulled out one of the pins to show Amara. "Quite frankly, I prefer the Iron Maiden!"  
  
"Really now? Just a minute," her and her group decide to have a group huddle to decide whether they should let Quatre become a mercenary. "Okay, we decided that you can become a member of our group because then you can help your friends escape torture," Amara finally said.  
  
"ESCAPE? Why would I want them to escape? That's no fun!" Quatre seemed to shudder at the thought of helping them instead of torturing them.  
  
"Good, kid, you're in," Amara said. "Spike, hand the kid a Uzi."  
"Oh, yay!" Quatre cheered.  
  
"Do I have to give this little..." Spike began. The next thing he knew, Quatre was lifting him by his collar.  
  
"I AM NOT LITTLE!" Quatre yelled. Spike swallowed and handed Quatre the Uzi, who cradled it like it was his own baby. He then dropped Spike.  
  
"Very good, He loves torture just as much as I do. I like him already...." grinned Amara.  
  
"Hey, can you let Ed down?" Ed's voice came from above them. "PLEASE?" She gave them all big, watery, innocent, HUMUNGOUS brown eyes.  
  
"..." Quatre's heart practically melted. "THAT'S THE MOST ADORABLE THING I EVER SEEN!"  
  
"PLEASE?" Ed practically started pleading to the blond below her.  
  
Quatre blinked and his eyes started welling up tears as well. "You're not expecting anyone to torture that poor girl, ARE YOU?!" he asked, turning to Amara.  
  
"Yeah of Course. Why not...isn't that the point of having people to torture...ISNT IT?" says Amara.  
  
"I would think that, that would be the point." agreed Rei.  
Quatre thought for a second, "What if she joined us?"  
"NO!" Ed yelled. Everyone looked at her. "Not without Jet..." she pointed to her older companion.  
  
Amara and her group...huddled again to talk over the idea of having Ed and Jet join the group. "SO what do you think?" Amara asked her crew in their little Group huddle. They finally decide to let them be in the group even though Spike had his high opinion of NOT letting them join.  
  
"OK, little Soldier, you get to have your way. They may join the group..." announced Amara.  
  
They let the two out of their cages. "Well, is this really what you want, Edward?" Jet asked. Ed swiftly nodded her little red head and jumped on Jet's back. "I'll take that as a yes!" Jet laughed.  
  
Spike silently walked up and looked Jet in the eyes. "If it was up to me, I'd have shot you on the spot, feel lucky that Amara agreed to let you join..." he said, tossing the older man an Uzi.  
  
"Hey, what about Ed?" Ed said, jumping down in front of Spike. Spike reluctantly gave her a pistol, not trusting her with a gun as powerful as the Uzi. 


	2. At the Camp

::At the Camp::  
  
Amara got out of the truck. "Ok, unload them. Put the girls in the jail and put the Guys in the the other jail. Little Soldier your deal with the Guys. You know what to do if they act up."  
  
Quatre cracked his knuckles and spun his Uzi around on his finger. "Gotcha, chief..." he said, leaning against the door.  
  
"Traitor..." soldier Taiki Kou hissed at Quatre.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the Uzi, bastard..." Quatre said dully, waving him on along the line. Several soldiers he was supposedly friends with glared at him. Quatre didn't even blink.  
"Hey, keep moving!" Ed barked, training her pistol on the blond haired Dorothy Catalonia.  
  
"What are you going to do to me with that?" Dorothy asked, indicating the pistol. "Oh look, it's a little BEEBEE gun...." She suddenly stumbled back, staring at Ed's now smoking pistol, and holding her bleeding arm.  
  
"THAT'S what Ed's going to do with that..." Ed said, sticking her tongue out at Dorothy.  
  
Amara appear at that moment just in time to see what Ed had done to Dorothy. "Wow, I like this little Maggot." she says to Rei. "I'm glad I agreed to have on this teemed."  
  
"Now missy (to Dorothy) I wouldn't be messing with Ed from now on, GOT IT?" Amara says as just than she shoots the wall right next to Dorothy's head.  
  
"Y-yes, ma'am," Dorothy muttered, walking away to follow the line again.  
  
"What now?" Ryo whispered to Chad, his best friend at the Mira Mesa base, as they walked in the line.  
  
"I have a suggestion," Seiji, a mercenary, said. "MOVE FASTER," he ordered, grabbing Ryo's hair and pulled his head back, sticking his uzi to his neck.  
  
"You wouldn't shoot me," Ryo growled. "You're too dependant on all of us being alive to get your money."  
  
Seiji growled and pushed Ryo foreword, kneeing him in the gut. Ryo gasped and fell to the ground. "I suggest you don't speak so disrespectfully to your capturers..." Seiji whispered to him, his mouth barely more than an inch from the young soldier's ear.  
  
"Now what are we supposed to do since we are in here and all. Just sit around and be lazy asses, like somebody we know in this group who has is down pat." questioned Chad from his position in line behind Ryo.  
  
"Well that was the plan until we got the rest of the commands from our Captain." said a feminine voice from behind Seiji.  
  
"Who's that?" asked Chad to Ryo in no more then a whisper. "She's Hot as hell!"  
  
"Well, apparently she's a mercenary, and one of the persons that shot up our base and blew it up so DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Ryo hissed at him.  
  
Seiji grabbed Ryo by the hair again and lifted him onto his feet. "This one's quite disrespectful," he said to Rei. "May I take care of him?" he asked with a sinister smile. "You know I so LOVE to take care of the...feisty ones."  
  
"Well, what would you do to him? Torture? or Kill?" ask Rei who walks up to Ryo and looks in to his blue eyes. Ryo looks back in to Rei's amythenst eyes. Which to him looked like big amythest jewels that sparkled when the light hit them just right or when she is excited.  
  
"Oh, don't worry," Seiji informed her as Ryo looked away from her eyes. "You know me, I never let the young go to waste." Ryo whimpered. He didn't know what was going to happen to him, but he knew it wasn't going to be good, and he really didn't want to be there or to find out.  
  
"Do you think that you deserve to be unharmed? or that you should be tortured beyond belief?" Rei asks Ryo, who was looking down at the floor.  
  
"I don't have the authority to make that decision, now do I?" Ryo asked. "I deserve only as much as those of higher authority say I do. If I deserve punishment for telling the truth, then so be it."  
  
"Well, at least you know your place," Seiji laughed. "Though it really is sad, a strong spirit is a sad thing to lose."  
  
"I never had a strong spirit," Ryo whispered, still looking at the ground.  
  
"Well then if you think that you should be punished then," whispered Rei, then her voice grew louder in telling Seiji. "Seiji you can have way at him, even though I thought we could make better use of you. I would have been able to probably to persuade my commander in letting you do something else instead of having Seiji here to torture you."  
  
"I don't care," Ryo said. "I don't want to be a part of your team, I'd rather face any torture than help you bastards in any way."  
  
"You..." Seiji backhanded Ryo. "You will respect us, whether you like us or not!" Ryo hit the ground. "Now, come on, we're, or rather I'M, going to have fun..." he ordered, pulling Ryo up by his arm and dragging him off.  
  
"There goes one of the good ones," sighed Rei, before she walked off out of the jail. "Well I better go check the other jail and see how Ed is doing."  
  
"I thought you were our friend!" Mariemaya yelled at Ed.  
  
"Well, not everything is as it seems," Ed said very philosophically.  
  
"Aw, blow it out of your old wazzu!" Middy said, leaning on her elbow.  
  
"So Ed, how is everything here, with the captors? Have they been giving you any problems, are there?" asks Rei as she walks up to the group. "Seiji should be over, soon, to help with the preparations?"  
  
"Everything's fine," Ed said.  
  
"Easy for you to say, you're not in a freaking prison!" Middy shouted at them.  
  
Seiji soon walked up to them. "Forgive Mr. Sanada if he's not in the prison, he's...indisposed," he snickered.  
  
"What did you exactly do to him?" ask Rei.  
  
"Let's just say...he's prepared to join the mercenaries, now..." Seiji smirked. "You'll find him in my tent, but trust me, you don't want to go in there."  
  
"Oh I see, I called you here because I think these Ladies are going to need a talking to!" explained Rei.  
  
"What kind of talking to?" Seiji asked. I know many kinds," Seiji stated. "Talking to is a very broad statement."  
  
"The kind you like the most." stated Rei, with a smile.  
  
"I have no energy left, YOU talk to them if you want them to be talked to," Seiji sighed. "And if you ask what happened to my energy, I'm just now going to say 'You don't wanna know'."  
  
"Well then let me just say if you don't, then you wont be seeing me later, in your tent." whispered Rei in Seiji's ear.  
  
"I don't really care..." Seiji whispered back. "I've gotten enough to last me a week..." Seiji then paused and added, "Not that I'm going to go a week without any more."  
  
"Fine then like I REALLY CARE, Ed you do the talking to with these ladies. While I go check on Ryo." explained Rei, as she walked off toward Seiji's tent.  
  
"I told you REALLY don't wanna go in there..." Seiji warned.  
  
"What's all the noise?" Ryo yawned, peeking out of the tent. He was wearing nothing but one of Seiji's (oversized on him) shirts, which barely covered up his (ahem) lower area.  
  
"Ryo, I told you to stay in there," Seiji warned. "You need to SLEEP."  
  
"SEIJI, YOU ARE NOT IN THE AUTHORITY TO ORDER HIM AROUND! Ryo, you ok, would you like something to eat? or drink?" asked Rei with concern.  
  
"I'm okay, really," Ryo said. "I just needed a little convincing to join, but he didn't hurt me, honest."  
  
"Yeah, so back off, Rei," Seiji said. "He's fine, you checked on him, and you have no right to be snooping around my tent. Come on, Ryo." Seiji pushed Ryo back into the tent and tied the flaps so that they would stay closed.  
  
"SEIJI, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SPEAKING TO LIKE THAT? REI IS MY FIRST IN COMMAND, YOU WILL LISTEN AND OBEY HER WITH RESPECT YOU GOT THAT, MR DATE." yelled a voice that was behind him and it made Seiji jump clear out of his skin.  
  
"Oh!" Seiji said. "Amara, you startled me!" He then narrowed his eyes. "Wait, a minute, how'd you get in here?"  
  
"I was all ready in here, talking to Ryo," Amara said. "He said he was ready to join the mercenaries."  
  
"Great," Seiji smiled, hugging Ryo.  
  
"Well, this is unexpected," Amara said, raising an eyebrow. "You've been a mercenary for a while, and you were never the affectionate type as far as I remember."  
  
"I know," Seiji shrugged. "Who said I was being affectionate? I was being congratulative."  
  
"So what do you have to say to Rei? Later that is since she had already left to go plan the next coarse that we would take." wondered Amara.  
  
"I'll tell her to keep away from (1) my tent and (2) Ryo," Seiji stated simply. "They're both MINE which means SHE has no right to go near them." Ryo blushed.  
  
Amara takes a deep breath and then punches him across the face in frustration. "No, wrong answer, think again."  
  
"Okay, how about, 'Keep away, you stupid bitch'?" Seiji asked.  
  
"SEIJI!" Ryo yelled this time, elbowing him in the side.  
  
"Seiji would you like to be terminated, and you wont be able to work in this business again. If you say yes then Ryo would be staying here with us." suggested Amara.  
  
"I don't think you have a say in whether or not he'd stay here," Seiji pointed out. "You see, you're his superior officer, but you don't run his life. If he wants to walk out of all of this right now, he can. It's the fun of being a mercenary, they're always open for hirement anywhere they want. But, at any rate, I shall only tell Rei that she should merely leave Ryo alone, she's making him uncomfortable with how close she's trying to get to him."  
  
"First of all if he does disobey orders he will be put back in the prison and become a slave again. Oh and if I know Rei, which I do then she was only trying to make him feel at home." explained Amara. "Oh and If I wanted to I could throw you in there as well!"  
  
"Whatever you say, ma'am," Seiji sighed. As Amara left the tent, when she was out of hearing range, Seiji growled, "I don't care who you are, but you will not threaten Ryo."  
  
"I heard that Seiji, Remember I will be were you least expect it." yelled Amara. "Oh and you better tell Rei YOUR SORRY! That was the correct answer I was looking for."  
  
Seiji sighed. "Ryo, stay here, I'm going to find Rei and a-ap-ap- apo..."  
  
"Apologize?" Ryo offered.  
  
"Right, that..." Seiji said. He then walked off to find Rei. He found her talking to Meiran, the cook of the mercenaries. "Rei, can I speak to you?" he asked.  
  
"YOU? What do you want? Last time I talked to you were a real bastard to me. So I have nothing to say to you and your personality." Rei states, then she says to Meiran. "Keep what you are doing and I'll check back later to see if you are done." Rei walks away from the dining hall and goes to her own tent.  
  
"REI!" Seiji yelled after her. "Fine! I WAS going to apologize, but I guess you don't to hear it!"  
  
"YOUR RIGHT I DONT." yelled Rei back at Seiji. "Nice talking to you, Seiji. Oh and for your info, I wasnt trying to get to close to Ryo."  
  
"Well then, if you're going to be a bitch and not even accept a little kindness, then hear this!" he yelled. "Stay AWAY from Ryo! Whether you were trying to get close to him or not, you make him uncomfortable, so keep away!" He then turned on his heal and went back to his tent.  
  
"What a jerk, I'm going to bed. Even though I didn't have any dinner." says Rei to her self on her way to her tent. Then she turns the yells at Seiji. "SINCE YOU DONT WANT ME TO GO NEAR YOU TENT THEN DONT YOU EVER COME NEAR MINE!!"  
  
"FINE!" Seiji yelled. He entered his tent in a VERY pissy mood.  
  
"Hey, I'll take it that it didn't go as planned?" Ryo asked, watching Seiji undress.  
  
"What do you think?" Seiji snapped. Ryo cringed at the tone. "Sorry, Ryo," Seiji quickly apologized, embracing Ryo. "I'm just in a really pissy mood. All right, bed, now, I'll join you in a minute." Seiji said. Ryo quickly hopped into the makeshift bed (a couple of blankets and some pillows) and waited patiently.  
  
As Rei walks in her room in a very pissed off mood. "Who the hell does he think he is? I could have him thrown in jail, If I wanted to. But then again, Who am I to judge? That guy just gets on my nerves, Can he just be nice for once with out being an ass?"  
  
"Um...ma'am..." came a voice from outside the tent. "Are you...talking to yourself?"  
  
"Yes, I am, Quatre, do you have a problem with that?" Rei asked.  
  
"Nope, just checking," Quatre said, walking away and giggling.  
  
Rei just lays in bed thinking of her life, why did she chose to be a Mercenary? The next thing she knew, everybody was running around the camp screaming.  
  
"What's going on?" Rei yelled, rushing out of her tent.  
  
"We're under attack!" Amara yelled back, running from her tent, which was on fire. "Edward, Quatre, grabs the prisoners and run! Seiji, prepare the guns! Prisoners, they're firing at you too, so you're helping unless you want to die!"  
  
Seiji and Ryo handed everyone guns and readied the machine guns. Gene pulled out his caster (a more portable and smaller, yet much more destructive, version of the bazooka). "Ryo, take the machine gun!" Seiji ordered.  
  
"Who makes YOU the higher authority??" Rei asked. "Meiran, YOU take the machine gun!"  
  
"...Ryo...take the OTHER machine gun," Seiji said, moving Ryo towards the gun. Ryo silently complied, not wanting to argue.  
  
"Great, it's La Jolla!" Spike said. "Those guys must have heard that Mera Mesa was captured by mercenaries and decided to kill two birds with one stone!" 


End file.
